Have you ever had one of those days (or weekends) where it feels like every emotion in your body is on high alert? I hope so, because if you haven't, then I'm losing my mind. Here's what's happened.
Yesterday, before it started to rain here in good old Nashport, I was out on the deck outside my bedroom. My bedroom is on the third floor of my house and is actually treetop high. This gives me a peaceful view of the 5 acres of woods (sounds like Winnie the Pooh) that I own and I spend a fair amount of time up there watching squirrels and birds and once in a while a beautiful red-tailed hawk. Well, as I was scanning the back 40, I noticed that a giant tree that had long since lost all its branches and weather had smoothed away its bark wasn't standing where it should be. This particular tree is a big sucker, so I was really surprised that it was hidden by the others. Being curious, I went to my second floor deck and checked again from a wider angle. Nope - couldn't see it. So I went to my bottom floor and out on to my patio and peered through the trees. Well, my grand old tree was gone! Sometime during the last week, it had fallen. I could see it lying on the ground from my vantage point and tears came to my eyes!! Tears for a tree, really? I don't know what came over me! I guess I started thinking about the squirrels who lived in the tree and the woodpecker who played his percussion on it every morning and wondered where they would go. I just stood there for a few minutes letting the tears come. Then I quickly looked around to see if anyone could see me - idiot - my backyard is totally secluded! I shook my head and went inside.
Now later in the day, after I had worked for several hours, I needed a mind break. I have this game on my computer called Fishdom. It's a game where you work on large grids, getting 3 squares of particular images in order to clear out golden squares and earn money to later buy fish, food and decorations for aquariums. The puzzles start out pretty easy, but gradually get harder. Now I don't want to come right out and say that I've played this game frequently, but I was on level 142 and feeling pretty proud because I'd never failed a level. Well, level 142 was a kick in the head to say the least and as I was getting closer and closer to running out of time, I apparently started yelling at the computer - telling it where to put things and where to move things and to quit doing things. I finally realized I was yelling outside of my head, when my pugs (all except Jewels, who is deaf) bolted out of their snoring and started barking. Nearly scared me off my chair! And yes, I failed the level.
Now it's evening and I'm watching a program of gospel singing which I love. A gentleman by the name of GeorgeYounce, who passed in 2005, was being memorialized. He was an amazing bass singer, but a story teller of the highest order. He told the story of a 7 year old who was on a field trip to a police station. During the trip the children were taken to see the bulletin board of the Most Wanted criminals. As the story goes, as the kids looked at the board in awe, this particular little boy put his hand up. The officer doing the tour acknowleged him and he said, "Sir, I have a question." "Go ahead young man," came the officer's reply. "Well, sir, if these are the most wanted criminals in America, why didn't you just keep them when you had them here to take their picture." I started laughing out loud and that little story still strikes me as funny and I still laugh out loud.
The final outburst came when I read a posting from my son Andrew on FaceBook - he felt his expected baby boy kick for the first time! I lost it! Tears are right here again even as I write this. What joy! I imagine him holding that little bundle in December and I can hardly contain myself.
So, maybe I'm losing my mind, who knows. Some would say it's just old age. Maybe. I like to think maybe it's God's way of showing me that I'm truly alive. If I can feel sorrow that a tree has fallen, anger because I can't pass a level of a game, happiness because of a silly joke and joy for my son who has created life - I must be OK! I sure don't like to think about the alternative! Thanks for indulging me, SMILES to everyone reading this!
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